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So I’ve mentioned it more than a few times here recently, but I haven’t been reading much YA at all lately. I’m just at a point where I’m really trying to lean into what speaks to me, and read what I want, when I want. And it’s working out great. 

But back in the summer I did read Andrew Joseph White’s COMPOUND FRACTURE (and LOVED it!), and one of the main reasons I did was just to have some familiarity with his work before YOU WEREN’T MEANT TO BE HUMAN came out. Everything about this book was intriguing to me when I first heard about it & I’ve been dragging my feet on starting this review because…this book was a lot. 

Before I flail around trying to unpack this one in a way that makes even a little bit of sense, I’ll first say I think it’s fucking brilliant. I think Andrew Joseph White is fucking brilliant. 

But this book will definitely not be for everyone & I want to pause here and include the content warnings as provided by the author in the book:

“In addition to a graphic focus on pregnancy, miscarriage, abortion, and childbirth, You Weren’t Meant to Be Human contains explicit depictions of extreme violence and gore, suicidal ideation, intrusive thoughts, self-harm, sexual assault, and abuse—sometimes alone, sometimes combined, sometimes indistinguishable one from another. A detailed list of warnings is available on the author’s website at AndrewJosephWhite.com.”

Also, hmm. YOU WEREN’T MEANT TO BE HUMAN is a book that does something I typically don’t like, and yet I still loved this book with my whole heart. The book really doesn’t explain itself, if that makes sense. And I think I’m typically a reader who does like a bit of exposition/explanation. So I guess I’ll say up front, some deeply fucking weird stuff is happening between the covers of this book, and I would encourage you to not hold your breath waiting to discover why the weird shit is happening. 

It’s just happening. Buckle up.

I’m pretty sure I saw Andrew Joseph White say somewhere that all his protagonists are/will be trans & autistic, like the author himself. 

Our main character is Crane, a trans autistic man living in West Virginia, working at a gas station with the other members of his hive. Crane is also mute, but not nonverbal. The author has an interesting post on his Instagram about the distinction. Basically, Crane has chosen to no longer speak, but he can & does have different means of communication. Some rudimentary sign language, facial expressions, writing, gestures…otherwise known as Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC).  

And when we meet Crane, unbeknownst to him, he’s also three months pregnant. 

So, who else is in the hive and what the fuck even is the hive? Great questions.

As the synopsis tells us: “Festering masses of worms and flies have taken root in dark corners across Appalachia. In exchange for unwavering loyalty and fresh corpses, these hives offer a few struggling humans salvation. A fresh start. It’s an offer that none refuse.”

Sooo, yeah. It’s a disgusting mass of worms & flies in a locked room at the service station. It can communicate with the members of the hive (more on that when I discuss the audiobook, which may well be my favorite audiobook of the year). It might be easy to think of the hive as a cult? That’s probably the closest thing I can come up with to explain the vibe. 

Levi is the man who got Crane pregnant, and geez…this is a deeply complex & troubling character. Levi is a former marine, is hyper-masculine, and just generally a bit scary. And well, the relationship between Crane and Levi is…a lot. Their sex life exists in a very gray area when it comes to consent. Things between them can feel very violent one moment, and then oddly tender the next. I’m explaining this poorly but just…it’s something to be aware of. Levi is ultimately Not a Good Dude but he is a really interesting character to follow. 

Crane does not want to be pregnant. The hive insists that he carry the baby to term. So I mean…this isn’t even a thinly-veiled allegory, here. The theme of bodily autonomy runs strong throughout the whole book & is really the central conflict in Crane’s life. Both as he transitions & now, as he’s forced to carry this baby to term to satisfy the hive. 

The characters in this book are so multi-faceted & deeply messy. There’s a very particular kind of humor to Crane that really spoke to me, even amidst the abject horror that surrounds him. He’s broken, and he has a very complicated relationship with himself. I just really rooted for him, hard. 

Stagger has got to be this book’s most fascinating addition. Ostensibly a zombified (wormified?) husk of a man, he’s sent by the hive to become something of a protector to Crane during his pregnancy. Stagger also doesn’t really communicate that much, but somehow over the course of this book, a really interesting relationship forms between Crane and Stagger. 

I cannot stress enough that this book is profoundly upsetting. I was thankful to have a friend who had already read this so I could send messages during some of the more extreme moments. Because, wow. This book goes to some places that are as (or more) extreme than anything I’ve ever read. I was angry reading this. I was sad. I was sometimes almost miserable. Crane just really goes through it in this book, and I went there right along with him. 

So I need to mention the audiobook & I hope you’ll excuse a bit of rambling. 

There’s any number of reasons why I choose to split my time between the physical book & an audiobook. Sometimes I’m trying to speed myself up a bit. Sometimes the audiobook was sent to me by a publisher. Sometimes it’s just because I know/like the narrator. 

And then sometimes I have to force myself to slow down on the audio because I do want to spend some more time with the physical copy, and that was the case here. I’ve come to really appreciate A Performance when it comes to narration. I’ve listened to some audiobooks lately where it’s just…someone reading the book. Even if they have a cool sounding voice/accent, there’s just not a lot to it. 

YOU WEREN’T MEANT TO BE HUMAN is my first time listening to Max Meyers, and WHOA. Like…this is a fucking unreal performance. This is not just someone reading words on a page to you. I honestly couldn’t have been more impressed with how much he brought to this audiobook. One caveat though: the voice of the hive takes some getting used to. I think what they did was record multiple takes of the same line, layer them (slightly staggered), and then drench it in effects. It sounds cool as hell, but also features lots of…gurgling/squelching noises that will probably gross some people out. Also, pro tip: if you listen to audiobooks with one earbud (I do this when I walk my dogs, so I can hear traffic & be safe), it’s occasionally hard to decipher the lines from the hive. Putting in both earbuds solves the problem! 

This review got a bit unwieldy and I’m not sure I even scratched the surface on this book. YOU WEREN’T MEANT TO BE HUMAN is one of the gnarliest, most visceral & upsetting horror novels I’ve ever read. I don’t feel like I’m easily shocked & this book did exactly that. It’s an angry, ferociously political book, and it feels really important. It’s a beautiful novel in its own uniquely disgusting way, and White is such a great fucking writer. Oof. This one is special. Again, mind the content warnings (I’d look on Storygraph because there’s so many more in addition to the ones the author provided), this is a book that could/will be incredibly upsetting for some. 

I think YOU WEREN’T MEANT TO BE HUMAN is a masterpiece, full stop. And a completely essential read when it comes to trans horror. Absolutely cannot wait to see what’s next from Andrew Joseph White, I think he is a monstrously gifted writer.