LIVE IN THE SADDLE. DIE ON THE HOG. 

Such is the creed of the half-orcs dwelling in the Lot Lands. Sworn to hardened brotherhoods known as hoofs, these former slaves patrol their unforgiving country astride massive swine bred for war. They are all that stand between the decadent heart of noble Hispartha and marauding bands of full-blood orcs. 

Jackal rides with the Grey Bastards, one of eight hoofs that have survived the harsh embrace of the Lots. Young, cunning and ambitious, he schemes to unseat the increasingly tyrannical founder of the Bastards, a plague-ridden warlord called the Claymaster. Supporting Jackal’s dangerous bid for leadership are Oats, a hulking mongrel with more orc than human blood, and Fetching, the only female rider in all the hoofs. 

When the troubling appearance of a foreign sorcerer comes upon the heels of a faceless betrayal, Jackal’s plans are thrown into turmoil. He finds himself saddled with a captive elf girl whose very presence begins to unravel his alliances. With the anarchic blood rite of the Betrayer Moon close at hand, Jackal must decide where his loyalties truly lie, and carve out his place in a world that rewards only the vicious. 

So this is gonna be an interesting one for me to review, because I dug the hell out of SO MUCH of this book. And yet, something about it really got under my skin & stayed there. 

There’s an absolutely incredible story behind this book. The Grey Bastards was the winner of the second Self-Published Fantasy Blog Off (SPFBO), an epic contest created by Mark Lawrence. There’s so many bloggers & authors involved, and it’s a great way to learn about some truly awesome self-published fantasy books! I’ve actually had Where Loyalties Lie by Rob J. Hayes sitting on my shelf for quite awhile, and I’m glad I do! It’s the most recent SPFBO winner, and if it does what The Grey Bastards did, it’ll become VERY hard to get copies of the book! 

But back to The Grey Bastards. After winning the SPFBO, the original paperbacks were just…gone (I know, I tried!), and currently, there’s a couple up on Amazon for north of $500!! Luckily for the rest of us, Crown Publishing decided to pick up the book (Orbit published it in the U.K.) and release this glorious hardcover!!

There is so much about this book, and this world, that I fell in love with. The POV character is Jackal, a half-orc, and part of the Grey Bastards hoof. They are a relatively small group of half-orcs, tasked with protecting the Lot Lands from threats such as full-blood orcs & centaurs. Yeah, this book has bloodthirsty, marauding centaurs and just…holy fuck.

There are great friendships in this book…Jackal & his two best friends, Oats and Fetch…these are hardened warriors, characters who have seen some shit. But they have this easy camaraderie with one another, and it’s one of the strengths of this book. 

The plot is…complex. At the heart of it, Jackal is planning to take over the Grey Bastards, unseating the Claymaster, the boss. But a recently-arrived half-orc wizard nicknamed Crafty complicates matters. A lot. 

The Grey Bastards is apparently heavily influenced by Sons of Anarchy, a show I’ve never seen. So any clever nods to that show were totally lost on me. That said, I really dug the whole biker gang vibe, with GIANT BATTLE HOGS standing in for motorcycles. Wicked cool!!

But here’s where I’m having a hard time with this book…as much as I enjoy some brutally caustic banter between friends, I just grew increasingly upset with the homophobic barbs. The characters use the word “backy” instead of “gay”, but the intent is the same. So when one character accuses another of getting “backy”, they’re accusing them of being gay. And it’s played for laughs. Many times. By many different characters. And I just hated it. Maybe if there were gay characters in the book…or maybe if it was just one character using this word, “backy”. Maybe I would’ve felt differently. But it seemed so pervasive.

And the most egregious use of this word is in the acknowledgments. The author extends a tremendous amount of gratitude to Mark Lawrence, and caps it off with this: “if we ever meet in person, it’s likely to get a touch backy.”

So now we’re not even talking about the characters in the book. Ugh. 

It seems like such a pivotal moment in pop culture. Marginalized people want to see themselves in the shows & movies they watch, and in the books that they read. And not feel attacked, othered, and excluded. 

There’s so much diversity in the sci-fi & fantasy books that I read…authors & characters of all races & genders & sexual orientations. I’m just truly having a hard time understanding this author’s use of a homophobic slur as a comedic device…I can appreciate sophomoric humor. Tasteless shit. Dick jokes. Whatever. This just felt so unnecessary.